Sunday Letters
Crow Feather, Fallen Leaf
Sunday Letter, 5 March 2000

Dear Friend,

. . . How much time should a person spend deciding what to do instead of actually doing it?
. . . If you, like me, spend too much time deciding what to do and then, on top of that, spend time wondering why it takes so much time to decide, you have my sympathy. You are not only, shall we say, "thoughtful" but you are also insecure.
. . .While other people have the confidence to "Just Do It," you and I are still testing the waters, judging which way the wind blows, and looking for solid ground. The abundance of cliches on this subject testifies just how difficult decisions are, not just for us, but for most of humanity. Animals are another story. Jesus used birds as an example of beings without worry. Oh, how I long to be a bird brain!
. . .Insecurity is something I've learned to live with. If I seemed coy in my last letter about my new job, it was because we had not yet agreed on my pay. Now we have, and I can securely announce that I am now managing editor of Image. You can now confidently send your congratulations. The job doesn't pay much but I have been admitted to the ranks of those dictators of culture and taste -- editors. But don't get carried away in your praise; the job only lasts six months, until the journal move its offices to Seattle.
. . .This past week I spent one day at Image while the outgoing managing editor, Bill Coleman, taught me everything he knew. Well, perhaps not everything. He's moved on to DoubleTake Magazine, which has a snazzy website.
photo of utility meter
. . .Did I treat the rest of the week like a vacation? No. I spent lots of time deciding what to do next. Then I did what was most important. I spent hours trying to figure out my utility bill. This is a pasttime enjoyed by millions of Delawareans -- well, thousands. You see, the local utility company -- Conectiv -- is doing everything in its power to alienate its clients. In our case, they sent us no bill for December and two different bills for January. On top of that, we live in a house with very little insulation and a very old, inefficient heater. That means one of our gas bill for January probably was correct. We owe $433 just for one month. We have yet to be billed for electricity. So far, all they have done is estimate our usage, which they seem to think is ZERO. Are they in for a surprise when they actually read the meter!
. . .I also got my driver's license and began the registration process on our two automobiles. But I did one fun thing this week -- take a walk in the woods along Naaman's Creek. That's where I took the top photo. Dare I say I actually like it? I'm so critical of my work, it is rare for me to take a photo I can go back to with enjoyment. My critical mind doesn't enjoy much of my own, but that's another story. It's something I'm learning to live with -- along with my indecision.
. . .Whoops. Gotta go. How shall I end this? With a period?

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